Tuesday 22 September 2020 by Davywavy

Man meeting with eight friends ‘just doing it to test his hearing’

group of friends testing their hearing

Local man Simon Williams broke the rule of six with a whole bunch of his mates to test his hearing, he has told authorities today.

Simon, who stayed out until midnight drinking before staggering home ‘was concerned about his ears, and thought repeated blasts from motorists horns as he weaved uncertainly across the road’ was the best way to to find out if he had any sort of auditory disorder.

“I think I behaved reasonably and safely by putting Livin’ on a Prayer and Mister Brightside on the pub jukebox for the tenth time”, Simon told us. “I had to make extra-special sure I could hear them, even over all my mates singing along.

“And when I was talking to that lass at the bar, I was trying to help ensure there was nothing wrong with her hearing either.

“I think there must have been because she spent all evening acting like I wasn’t there.”

Simon added that he wasn’t certain if the experiment had been a success so he’d have to try it again on Friday night.

When asked, a government spokesman said there would be a delay in responding to Simons behaviour as the minister is on a grouse shoot with 97 of his closest friends.

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