A stark and concerning Covid briefing held by leading Chief Medical Officer Professor Chris Whitty and Chief Scientific Advisor Sir Patrick Vallance has left the British public worried and desperate to hear from Ian Brown and Noel Gallagher about their thoughts on the current state of the pandemic.
“That has shaken me a bit, so I really want to hear what Noel has to say about it,” said Simon Williams, a free-thinker who always does his own research.
“I mean, I know that Professor Chris Whitty has degrees from a variety of universities, personal experience in researching diseases in Africa and Asia, and is the country’s leading expert on infectious diseases, but Oasis was one of the best Britpop bands of the nineties. Noel’s solo stuff isn’t as good, but I still think it’s important to listen to his thoughts on the pandemic.”
Eleanor Gay has seen several YouTube videos about what’s *REALLY* going on with Covid and she is calling for Ian Brown to make a public statement.
“Of course, we should definitely listen to scientists like Whitty and Valance,” she said.
“But the thing is, Ian Brown made Fools Gold, which blended dance music and rock in a really innovative way. So, when he speaks about Covid, we should also pay attention to what he thinks.”
However, regardless of the briefing or even the thoughts of Gallagher and Brown, it seems there is one overriding influence on the thoughts of many regarding the pandemic, as articulated by twitter user @funkypants.
“Yeah, the briefings were interesting. But last week, Van Morrison released an EP saying masks are balls. So, that’s all the facts I need to know.”
F*CK BORIS – get the Facemask here!