Environmental disaster! Chelmsford rainforests now completely eradicated

author avatar by 4 years ago

In a new catastrophe for the environment, the famous rainforests of Chelmsford, known as ‘Essex’s Lungs’ have been completely eradicated, say scientists.

The rainforests, that ran all the way along the A12 corridor from Margaretting in the south to the outskirts of Witham in the north, were famed for the huge tree canopy that provided oxygen across the county and the diverse wildlife that included jaguars, toucans and goblins.

“It’s desperately sad. For thousands of years, the spectacular rainforests of Chelmsford have been one of the great wonders of the natural world. Their loss is incalculable,” said rainforest expert Professor John Bustarhymes.

“Even after the majority of rainforests were lost, we still had a small hundred-odd square metre cluster of trees left to the north of South Woodham-Ferrers populated by a Tapir named Dave. Earlier this week, we learnt that had been cut down to make way for Marks and Spencer out-of-town food hall.

“I mean, it’s convenient, because traffic into Chelmsford is a bugger. But it’s a tragedy for the environment, not to mention Dave.”

Local residents were dismayed but pragmatic.

“I don’t know, when it’s far away, in Brazil or wherever, it doesn’t seem real, but then you see your local rainforest completely disappear, it really brings it home to you,” said resident Sylvia Mayfield.

“I used to be able to look out of my window and see orangutans playing by the waterhole, and now it’s just a car park.

“Still though, it’s easy to be sentimental but, you know, people have got to park somewhere.”

The loss of the Chelmsford rainforests means that the only tropical forests left in Essex are the Southend Temperate Rainforest and the Harlow Cloud Forest Reserve, although that is now under threat from plans to develop a new starter home estate.