Thursday 17 September 2020 by Pete Redfern

Chris Grayling writing his own satire now after getting £100,000 job as port advisor


Chris Grayling port advisor

The man who once spent thirty-three million pounds of taxpayer money on a ferry firm with no ferries is now forging his own satire after being given a highly paid job as an advisor to a port operator.

News of the appointment, which will see Chris Grayling earn a six-figure salary for only seven hours work per week for a year, was met with laughter among his parliamentary colleagues and slight resentment from web-based satire outlets.

Simon Williams, a writer from moderately successful site FactPunch, expressed his disgruntlement at the news, saying, “Whilst it is utterly hilarious that a man so inept at so many things keeps getting these kinds of jobs, it does rather leave us with very little to do.

“A month ago, we could have easily run the story ‘Chris Grayling uses vast experience of wasting money on nonexistent ferries to get job advising port operator’ and it would have had maybe a couple of thousand likes on social media.

“But today I look at the BBC website and see he’s beaten us to it, the calamitous git.”

Sceptical employees at the ports of Harwich and Felixstowe, which the former Transport Secretary will be advising, told the press, “We’re naturally concerned that we are going to come to work one day and find we’ve been laid off and replaced with a flamboyance of a thousand flamingoes, or that he’s drilled holes in the bottom of all the boats for ventilation or something.

“Still, he’s only going to work seven hours per week, so how much damage can he really do?

“Actually, don’t answer that, I could do without a nervous breakdown.”

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