Friday 11 September 2020 by Alex Webster

Seven Dwarfs eject Sneezy


Seven Dwarves lose a member due to new restrictions

A group of friends has evicted it’s most infectious member to comply with new government guidelines.

A cottage containing seven men of small stature has been forced to reduce headcount in light of Wednesday’s government announcement people should not socialise in groups of more than six.

Doc, an epidemiologist and member of the household had this to say, “For a while, we had this lodger who used to bake pies, sing the odd song and tidy up and stuff.

“But she had to go when the lockdown was imposed. I mean, she had a habit of picking up any old piece of fruit and eating it without cleaning it. I mean, come on, you can be that unsanitary in the current climate.”

“Then we heard the news that social circles had to be reduced to six people while indoors. Grumpy wasn’t much at risk because he can still write his column for the Daily Mail remotely.

“Dopey was hanging by a thread until he got promoted at Southern Rail.

“Sneezy on the other hand maintains that COVID is a hoax and refuses to wear a mask. It’s like he’s spraying germs all over everybody just to prove a point.  He just laughs and tells us we’re idiots for wearing a ‘face nappy’.

“So, unfortunately, we had to let him go. It’s a tough time for all of us, even Happy.

“We’ve had to knock the singing on the head, too.”

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