Friday 4 September 2020

Work on £100 billion HS2 rail link begins, just as everyone decides to permanently work from home


HS2 construction work underway

Construction has begun today on the new £100 billion HS2 rail link aimed at providing ‘essential high-speed travel and commuting’ between major UK cities, just as everyone has realised they prefer working from home.

With much controversy surrounding the project, which is set cost in the region of £100bn and take up to 20 years to complete, the Prime Minister has responded today defending the network which he feels will provide a vital transport link between businesses all over the country, whose staff will now be predominantly working from home for the foreseeable future.

Speaking this morning he told us, “We are happy to announce that work on HS2 is starting today, aimed at providing an essential high-speed rail network for millions of people across the country, who will be largely working from home due to restrictions on public transport.

“This transport link will ensure that major companies throughout the country can meet up and spend much-needed money in a vast array of coffee shops in major cities across the country, taking slightly less time to get there than now.

“We are confident that the overall cost of HS2, which only appears to double in price every four or five years, will provide outstanding value for money for millions of taxpayers across the UK, who both do not want or need the actual service itself.”

Asked if he has been to speak to people from other major UK cities to gauge their opinion on the project, he told us “Nah, there’s no point travelling for meetings these days is there?

“I just did a quick Zoom call.”

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