Friday 4 September 2020 by Davywavy

Production of The Batman paused after Robert Pattinson catches Covid from wearing a mask that didn’t cover his mouth


Batman has covid

Production of The Batman has been paused after it emerged star Robert Pattinson contracted Covid-19 due to wearing a mask that doesn’t cover his mouth and nose.

Batman, who sounds like he’s got a throat infection at the best of times, has been criticised by people close to the project for not taking proper precautions because he ‘wanted to look cool and scary’.

“Bane wears a Mask, Black Mask gets it, Deathstroke covers his entire face…but Batman? Nooo, he’s got to be able to grimace and bare his teeth when he’s beating up a mugger”, said Gotham medical spokesman Dr Hugo Strange.

“Even the Joker has been wearing a red hood that covers his face to avoid infection lately, proving that even he cares more about the lives of his goons than the Batman does.”

“You’d think he’d learn from Scarecrow about avoiding the inhalation of airborne contaminants by wearing a damn mask.”

When asked, Batman said that he likes criminals to fear him – and “there’s nothing scarier at the moment than sharing an enclosed space with some arsehole who might sneeze on you at any moment.”

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