‘It is now safe to go back to work’ insists man still working from home

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Transport Secretary Grant Shapps has insisted today that it is now safe for people to return to the office to work, as he continues to work from home himself.

As the government launches a new advertising blitz next week aimed at getting the nation back into the workplace, ministers will look to highlight the benefits of employees returning to work in the office, in a number of Zoom interviews from the safety of their own homes.

Speaking earlier this morning, from his home, he told us “It is now completely safe to return to the office to work, absolutely no risk whatsoever, which is why I am just going to continue to work from home for a while longer until this virus thing has gone”

“We do appreciate that only recently we passed all responsibility regarding any safe return to work onto your employers in order to escape any criticism surrounding any increase in death and infections, but they just don’t seem to be dragging you back to the office quickly enough and now a load of Pret A Manger’s are having to close.

“So we are now saying that it is safe to go back, despite the highest daily infection date since 12th June being reported yesterday, and an inadequate transport system to provide safe and socially distanced travel.

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“We would urge everyone to head back in there as soon as possible to get the economy moving again.”

Asked when he will be looking to return to work in the office himself he told us, “Good God, months probably, I don’t know, maybe when they find a vaccine? But only one day a week.”