Friday 28 August 2020 by Lucas Wilde

“Biden would see violence on the streets the likes of which we haven’t seen in nearly three days” declares Trump


Donald Trump can save us from Trump

President Trump has warned that Joe Biden might cause even more havoc than the havoc he is currently causing.

The walking, talking Cheeto made the declaration in a speech last night in which he also spouted a load of other horseshit, which we won’t bore you with here.

“Mark my words, folks, we’re talking absolute chaos and anarchy on our streets,” declared Trump, wallowing in his usual lack of self-awareness.

“We’re talking riots, we’re talking violent protests, we’re talking people being gunned down in public by vigilantes, we’re talking destruction of public property.

“Basically everything you’ve seen in the last two years, and especially the last week or so, folks. But this time it would actually be the President’s fault, trust me. It’s not currently my fault, of course.

“And only a communist would think that it is.

“Look around you in America today. People are dying, riots, looting, massive racial tensions – I am the only one who can save you from this situation that is entirely of my making.”

Political commentator, Chuck Williams, sighed, “I am mentally exhausted from weeks of reporting on Donald Trump.”

“If he’s going to win, then he’s going to win by promising to fix all of the problems he himself has created, and if that happens, it’s going to be an absolutely devastating indictment of the American electorate’s intelligence.

“But then, I said something very similar four years ago, and now look at it.”

“Always vote for the side with the fewest arseholes” – get the T-shirt here!

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