Thursday 27 August 2020

If you want to lose weight, try living on £13 a day, Boris Johnson told


Boris Johnson wants to lose weight

After hiring a personal trainer to lose the excess weight that left him susceptible to coronavirus, Boris Johnson has been advised he can achieve similar weight lost by restricting his calories by living off £13 a day like low-paid workers he’s asked to self-isolate.

Johnson, who many have acknowledged could do with losing a few pounds, has been told that the quickest way to lose weight is to stop putting so many things into his mouth.

Fitness expert Simon Williams told us, “It’s a simple equation, calories in versus calories out.  Put fewer in, and you’re already halfway there.  One excellent way of limiting the calories you consume is to limit the amount of money you have available to spend on food.

“People like Annunziata Rees-Mogg will no doubt tell you that £13 a day buys an awful lot of potatoes, but unfortunately, that £13 also has to cover the cost of your living arrangements as well.

“I’m quite sure that if Boris had to live on a total of £13 a day for a couple of weeks, just like the many low paid workers he’s asked to self-isolate will forced to do, the weight would just fall off him.”

Meanwhile, personal trainers across the capital have been telling callers from Downing Street that they are completely booked up for the foreseeable future, but thank you for the interest.

As one told us, “You’d think working for the prime minister would be a great opportunity, but let’s be honest, no-one wants the inevitable Boris ‘after’ photo to ever be part of the personal training CV.”

“F*ck Boris” – get the new facemask here!

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