“I’d been planning to build the wall out of yachts, drugs and prostitutes,” insists Steve Bannon

author avatar by 4 years ago

The US border wall was always intended to be constructed out of 70-foot yachts, bags of marching powder and trailer-park girls calling themselves Tiffany and Karma, according to a written deposition by Steve Bannon today.

Bannon, Donald Trump’s former advisor who was arrested yesterday on charges of milking idiots who genuinely thought he’d do something he promised, has submitted evidence that his purchase of a hot tub and seventy gallons of lube were solely and exclusively for the purpose of building a wall along the US-Mexican border.

Bannon told the lawyers involved, “Everyone knows that boats have to survive on the sea, which is one of the toughest environments on earth, so they make great building materials if you’re trying to build something that will really last.

“And Vegas hookers are famously as hard as nails, so they’re the perfect choice for stanchions and supporting buttresses on reinforced sections of a wall.”

Bannon went on to say that anyone who ever watched Miami Vice will know that 1-kilo bags of cocaine stack really neatly, which would reduce the amount of cement required to hold them together.

“It’s actually cost saving, when you think about it like that,” he added.

Supporters of Donald Trump and Steve Bannon appear perfectly happy with the explanation given during the deposition, seemingly for no other reason than they believe Hillary Clinton should be in jail so Steve Bannon must be innocent.