Thursday 20 August 2020

Donald Trump wondering if he will have to take time away from his busy golfing schedule to pardon yet another former advisor


Donald Trump golfing

President Donald Trump has been left wondering if he will have to take time away from his busy golfing schedule to issue another pardon, after yet another of his former advisors was indicted on federal charges, this time for fraud.

After Steve Bannon was arrested on federal charges relating to defrauding members of the public out of hundreds of thousands of dollars in a scheme to ‘build the wall’, Donald Trump immediately asked if he should consider a pre-emptive pardon, or wait and commute his sentence as he did for his other advisor who tampered with witnesses, Roger Stone.

White House spokesperson Chuck Williams told us, “There are only so many hours in the day, and between golf and keeping his former employees out of prison so they won’t be tempted to snitch on him, there is very little time for anything else.

“We could really do without an election this year, to be honest, hence all the Postal Service stuff.

“If the President is forced to make yet another pardon of one of his inner-circle who to the surprise of absolutely everyone turns out to be a criminal, then I have to wonder if postponing the election is something we should definitely do.”

Political analyst Jake Matthews told us, “I know the President keeps referring to law enforcement agencies repeatedly investigating the people who worked both with, and for him, as a ‘witch hunt’,

“But as witch hunts go, you have to admit they’ve caught an awful lot of witches.”

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