Tuesday 11 August 2020

Mike Pence demands on-stage chaperone for VP debate with Kamala Harris


Mike Pence chaperone for Kamala Harris debate

After Joe Biden selected Californian Senator Kamala Harris as his running mate for the November presidential election, Mike Pence wasted no time in demanding a chaperone for the VP debates to ensure he is not alone with her on stage at any point during the proceedings.

The Republican party have been left shocked at the announcement of Harris as Biden’s running mate, as it exposes Pence’s Achilles heel – women.

A GOP spokesperson told us, “We’ll be working with Vice President from now until the debates on mental exercises to picture Kamala Harris as a two-hundred-pound white man that he is entirely comfortable to be around.

“We also believe that at this point he is in discussions with Mrs Mike Pence to secure her permission to talk solely to another woman for a period of up to an hour.

“We’ve no idea what’ll happen if she says ‘no’.  Maybe she’ll be up on the stage with him, giving dirty looks to Kamala Harris for trying to seduce her husband into unwanted verbal pleasantries.”

Pence has also asked that the traditional handshake be taken off the agenda, insisting physical conduct with a woman who is not his wife could lead to several hours of prayer when he should be supporting his President by doing the things that he does.

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