News teams from the BBC and Sky news are locked in a tense battle to capture the first footage of a dinghy actually collapsing in front of them in the English Channel.
With news crews now adding to the number of boats in the busiest shipping lane in the world, two leading news channels are vying to get the best possible shot of people potentially drowning.
“Oh, it’s so exciting, isn’t it?” exclaimed Sky News producer and absolute tit Simon Williams.
“If we can get the moment the water goes over the bow of the dinghy and fills it up quicker than those immigrants can bail it out, causing it to sink like a stone to the sea bed, then we’ll be able to broadcast that live to people tucking into their breakfast.
“It’ll be our ‘Titanic’ moment, and that got LOADS of viewers. The clip will definitely go viral on social media and I could get a pay rise.”
He went on, “This morning we very nearly collided with one of the boats, but unfortunately, it made its way to shore without further incident – but maybe tomorrow we’ll have more luck and actually hit the thing.
“And if we’re that close we’ll be able to fully capture the look of terror on the passengers’ faces, which I’m sure is what our viewers really want.”
Channel 5 are yet to enter the race to film the capsizing of a boat full of terrified asylum seekers, but are understood to have bid for the rights to turn ‘crossing the channel in a dinghy’ into a reality TV survival show called ‘The Very Hungry Games’.