The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy repeatedly flying to Nassau in a Gulfstream 650, insists NRA

author avatar by 4 years ago

The NRA has responded to a New York prosecutor’s investigation into leader Wayne Lapierre for embezzlement by explaining that America’s constitution mandated the vital need to guard liberty with machine guns, private retreats in the Caribbean and free golf club memberships.

NRA spokesperson, Tyler Williams, addressed NRA members to say that tyranny can only be defeated if free men and women keep their guns and understand that a full-time make-up artist for Wayne Lapierre’s wife is a legitimate expense.

He went on, “Time and again the liberal elites have come after your God-given rights to own machines designed to facilitate mass murder.

“They have tried to impose limits on what kind rapid-fire weapon a drunk neo-nazi with a criminal record for psychotic outbreaks of violence can buy.

“They have demonised a type of gun just because it’s the one used by nearly every mass shooter. They have organised Twitter mobs against our members when we lobbed insults at the grieving parents of a school shooting.

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“And now their latest attack on our freedom is a witch hunt on patriotic Americans for using the NRA’s funds on totally legitimate meetings that just happen to be in Michelin-starred restaurants, or held while sandbank-hopping from a yacht in the Virgin Islands.

“Make no mistake, first they come after Wayne for allowing his daughter to spend your membership fees on private jets for her private parties, but next they will be stealing your shotgun and burning your bibles.

“Now, go buy some T-shirts with absurdly threatening slogans on them. The Annapolis boat show is coming up.”