Thursday 6 August 2020 by Arabin Patson

‘Defund the BBC because it’s just propaganda!’ insist people who only watch UK Gold and ITV


Calls to defund the BBC

People who have refused to watch the BBC since Top Gear was cancelled are adamant it should be deprived of public funding because some children’s show featured LGBTQ people, Brexit got criticized, or whatever it is that idiots get angry about these days.

Retired PE teacher and full-time fuckwit, Derek Williams, was one of many whose paranoid obsession with “cultural Marxism” got a call to ‘defund the BBC’ trending even though he hasn’t watched a public broadcast since Blue Planet made him angry for showing him pollution.

“I only use the telly to watch footie, Corrie and re-runs of The Sweeney. But I am adamant that everything on the BBC is just woke brainwashing.

“You turn it on and all you see is positive discrimination hires telling you should be ashamed to be white and that hot cross buns are evil because they upset Muslims.

“I would refuse to pay the licence fee but unfortunately I am one of those people stupid enough to believe that the BBC has magic vans who can find out if the wife has watched Sherlock.”

When asked, a spokesperson for the corporation refuted the accusation that its programming was designed to brainwash Britons into becoming gay vegan jihadists.

They told us, “This is very unfair. We have put a huge effort into catering for all audiences, including barely sentient curtain-twitchers.

“Whether it’s Mrs Brown’s Boys, Eastenders, Strictly Come Dancing or Cash In The Attic, we have produced many shows designed solely to keep ignorant berks vegetating in front of the box instead of mumbling racist slurs at minorities on the bus.”

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