Wednesday 5 August 2020 by Arabin Patson

People who say ‘let’s agree to disagree’ are wrong and should f*ck off, say scientists


Angry scientist

A recent study has confirmed your belief that people who try to end arguments with a pithy phrase about the acceptance of diverging opinions are utter cunts who should never be allowed to speak again.

Professor Simon Williams of the University of Croydon’s famous Bellend Research Centre explained that his team’s year-long study had revealed the colossal twattery underpinning the wankers who use the dreaded sentence to weasel out of their self-dug pit of idiocy.

He explained, “On the surface, it sounds absolutely fine. It’s an appeal to the civic compromise that makes our modern societies liveable and allows ideological divergences to flourish and enrich discourse.

“But in practice, it’s just an irritating phrase that your gran uses after you tried to tell her the anti-mask meme she posted on Facebook was utter bollocks.

“It’s essentially become a way for window-lickers to claim a time-out.”

Professor Williams said the study did not support the notion that only by bringing out all ideas in the open can the light of truth reveal their flaws.

“No, only complete fucking idiots think that.

“Wanting to argue against gay marriage or racial equality in 2020 does not make you a ‘free-thinking provocateur’. It makes you a cunt.

“All the evidence suggests that the best way to deal with those arseholes who say something horrible followed by ‘change my mind’ is not to argue with them but to grab them by the scrotum and squeeze as hard as you can until they whistle Ravel’s Bolero.

“Or Debussy’s Arabesques. Either works fine.”

If I agreed with you then we’d BOTH be wrong – get the T-shirt here!

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