Leaping across series of 10ft high concrete pillars a symptom of fragile masculinity, scientists confirm

author avatar by 4 years ago

Daring feats of parkour have today been linked with having a fragile male ego, scientists have discovered.

After studying hours of footage in addition to the example circulating on Twitter yesterday of a man running across a series of high concrete posts, scientists based at the University of Risking One’s Bollocks concluded that the activity betrays a deep inner crisis of sorts.

Professor Simon Williams, who has never risked a compound fracture by prancing around the urban landscape like a deranged lemur, told us, “The desperate need to impress other members of the same species has been a driving evolutionary force since the time of the neanderthals.

“Intimidating other males with acts of bravery whilst impressing members of the opposite sex has long been a necessary part of social interaction, and indeed sexual reproduction.

He went on, “But it’s not 40,000 BC anymore. There is no need to leap between concrete pillars to impress people you don’t know. There are other ways of making a positive impact on society beyond this sort of activity, however impressive the front flip at the end of the clip may have been.”

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Christopher James, a free-running enthusiast from Little Arseache responded, “What a load of nonsense. And I know bollocks when I see it; I burst a testicle on a pillar only last week.

“I don’t do this to impress anyone, I do it for the feeling of freedom.

“Plus my videos get a shit ton of likes on social media, which makes me feel less of a virgin.”