Thursday 30 July 2020 by Mark Molloy

Ancient mystery finally solved as archaeologists trace origin of Stonehenge stones to just up the road from Stonehenge


Stone Henge stones

Archaeologists are celebrating this week after finally discovering the origin of the giant stones making up the main monument of Stonehenge, claiming they came from just up the road to Stonehenge.

The discovery, which has baffled experts for centuries was finally revealed yesterday by excited boffins shocked to discover the 20-tonne stones were brought to the site from another place, which is actually quite close by.

Professor Simon Williams from Salisbury told us, “We can’t believe it, the massive heavy stones that needed dragging to the site with nothing but Neolithic manpower were from just up the road all along!

“We have looked everywhere to be honest, and this question has indeed gone on for centuries, for people who actually care where the exact location was.

“And we have finally pinpointed an area a couple of miles up the road from where it is now, and it’s a truly amazing discovery, albeit yes, a little bit obvious.

“Yes, hindsight is a wonderful thing, and yes, the search might not have taken fifty years if we’d started looking for their origin in the immediate vicinity of Stonehenge.

“Granted, the stones are pretty damn big to be moved even a few miles back then, but let’s face it, they were probably a bit closer at the time anyway for all we know, it was a very long time ago.”

Asked about the slightly smaller bluestones which have actually been previously traced to Wales we were told “Fuck off” and “Can’t you let us enjoy this finding for five sodding minutes please.”

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