Secret globalist cabal delighted with conspiracy theory that has stopped people wearing masks and allowed continued facial recognition

author avatar by 4 years ago

A secret cabal of globalist billionaires is today celebrating their success in getting gullible idiots to ditch facemasks, after it became apparent that wearing them rendered their global facial recognition systems obsolete.

As developed countries around the world begin introducing rules that mandate the wearing of facemasks to help limit the spread of COVID-19, it has come as a shock to the shadowy figures that run the world that their facial recognition systems no longer work as advertised.

Simon Williams, a secretive billionaire plotting to take over the world, told us, “We’ve been tracking you for ages.  Through your TVs, your phones, CCTV – everything.  We know where you go, and when you go there.  But these bloody COVID facemasks ruined everything.

“Almost twenty years of technology investment down the toilet, overnight.  We pivoted to video from audio years ago, before you’d even heard of YouTube, so of course we started looking for ways to undermine the mask-wearing programmes.

“Useful idiots like Donald Trump help, but the best way to get a gullible moron to stop doing something, is to tell them people like us want them to do it.

“We just started it spreading rumours that masks were the first step in allowing globalists to steal their freedoms. No, of course it doesn’t make any sense – but it combines their two favourite things, global issues they don’t really understand, and someone to blame for all the bad stuff in their lives.

“It’s working brilliantly.  Just look at your social feeds to see all the people we’ve successfully manipulated into thinking a facemask is an attack on their freedom.

“I can barely say it with a straight face, but they fell for it hook, line and sinker and how we can keep on tracking them wherever they go.  Happy days!”