Monday 13 July 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Kanye West announces plans to run for Chelmsford Town Council


Kanye West funning for Chelmsford council

Kanye West, twice winner of Bellend Magazine’s Bellend of the Year, has announced plans to run for election to Chelmsford’s Town Council.

The guiding principle behind his campaign will be largely to get more attention for Kanye West, but he has specified a number of other aims.

  • Extend the town-centre pedestrianisation scheme
  • Crackdown on children hanging around in Hylands Park
  • Build a giant statue of Kanye West’s face on the Army and Navy flyover

“Chelmsford, Kanye be coming to rescue you from an ineffectual council and poorly managed local services,” said the megastar as he announced his plans.

“Time has come to make Chelmsford great again, and Kanye is going to bring that shit.

“Time to get shit organised – your parking, bin collections and whatnot are going to be crazy efficient under Kanye’s glorious rule.”

His run for town council was immediately endorsed by fellow bellend Elon Musk.

“Kanye would make an incredible town-councillor for a provincial British town,” said Musk.

“If he wins, then I will help him make Chelmsford into an intergalactic spaceport and we can turn Chelmsford from a quite nice commuter town into Elon and Kanye’s gateway to the stars!”

Kanye will begin campaigning immediately for town council elections in September.

It will be the first time a leading rapper has attempted to gain election to Chelmsford Town Council since MC Hammer’s ill-fated run in 1992 that was such a catastrophe that everyone has agreed to pretend it never happened.

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