Monday 6 July 2020 by JS Harding

2020 sees 2019’s Covid-19 and raises it Bubonic Plague


Plague to return

It has emerged that 2020 has claimed responsibility for the resurgence of bubonic plague cases in China after “having had enough” of being dominated by Covid-19.

“Covid-19 is literally so 2019,” said a spokesman for 2020.

“I mean, it’s been a bit of embarrassment trying to promote 2020 as being one of the worst years on record when its antagonist is named after last year’s virus.

“Remember how many idiots initially believed that Covid-19 was the 19th iteration of Covid and didn’t realise that it referred to the year of its discovery? That was certainly helpful to our ‘2020 is a bastard bitch’ propaganda.

“But now everyone – even Americans – seemed to have grasped that it stemmed from bastard 2019, which has detracted hugely from our fearmongering.

“So in the interests of really putting our stamp on 2020, we’ve decided to go proper old-school and release Bupla-20. We’re even thinking of releasing a feature film to promote this atrocity; Bupla-20: The Black Death Strikes Again.

“Covid-19 will soon be a thing of the past.

“Actually, it won’t it’s going to be around for bloody years yet, but in the interest of hyping BuPla-20, let’s pretend it’ll soon be a thing of the past.

“Forza BuPla-20!”

I survived the toilet roll wars of 2020 – get the T-shirt here!

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