Monday 15 June 2020

People having a beer on the beach to blame for mishandling of coronavirus crisis


Busy UK beach during lockdown

As instances of coronavirus continue to drop, thoughts are turning to exactly who is to blame for the mishandling of the crisis, with many people choosing to focus on people having a beer on the beach.

“I don’t think anyone can deny that 40,000 dead is a disastrous outcome,” explained Boris Johnson.

“The lockdown fell apart, care homes were horribly mismanaged, and the crisis has been handled based entirely on political expedience as opposed to science.

“It is only right that someone takes responsibility for that, and that our investigations have led us to conclude that it’s entirely the fault of people having a beer on the beach.”

Mr Johnson went on to make it clear exactly how it was the people having a beer on the beach’s fault.

“Everything was going fantastically well, we had track-and-trace in place, there were coronavirus tests for all and a stringent and coherent lockdown policy was in place.

“Then people had a beer on the beach and everything went to hell.

“Track-and-trace disappeared, all our tests fell into the sea, and the lockdown became a confused and contradictory statements all seemingly designed to prevent Dominic Cummings being fired.

“So, remember then, in a few years, when there’s a general election, remember all of this was the fault of people having a beer on the beach, and not the Tory Government that was literally in charge of all coronavirus policy in place at the time.

“Vote Boris!”

A cabinet of arseholes – get the T-shirt here!

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