Wednesday 10 June 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Donald Trump: Buffalo protester shoved by police was Thanos


Donald Trump on Buffalo protester

Second rate Bond villain and US President Donald Trump has used Twitter to assert that the 75-year-old protester in Buffalo who suffered head injuries after being shoved to the ground by the police was actually fictional Marvel super-villain Thanos.

“Buffelo [sic] man ‘shoved” by police was Thanos?!?! LAMESTREAM media doctored video. Police doing fine job protected [sic] Earth from Thanos. LAW AND ORDER! COVEFE!”

The president expanded on his theory in a later press conference.

“I’ve seen the original video from before you guys doctored it and it’s- you know, it’s scary.

“Thanos is walking down the street. He’s got the big glove on and you see him raise his hands to click his fingers.

“If it hadn’t been for that officer shoving him down then he could have clicked his fingers and disappeared everyone on the planet. Brave guy, you know. Someone should give him a medal, but all you guys in the fake news media want to talk about how he should be fired.”

Mr Trump then went on to explain how the incident was really about him.

“I am the only President who hasn’t had aliens destroy half of humanity in history and all everyone is talking about is blood coming from this guy’s ear. No President has ever been as badly treated as me.”

The accusation that Buffalo protester was actually Thanos comes just days after Trump’s suggestion that Joe Biden was actually one of the aliens from Independence Day and, if voted President, he would almost certainly enslave humanity.

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