Bras unionise in protest at new zero-hour contracts

author avatar by 4 years ago

Despite previously being considered essential workers, providing frontline support to millions of women, the rise in home-working has left many of the nation’s bras cruelly cast off by their employers.

“I was used to sometimes ending shifts early, whenever my employer went straight home instead of spending the evening out,” said one particularly distressed plunge bra.

“But only being worn for five minutes during Clap for Carers is just not enough. And all that pot banging puts us under quite a bit of strain too – it’s not easy work.”

The union was formed after most bras found themselves ineligible for the government’s furlough scheme, due to still being called in occasionally for an important video call or a trip to Sainsbury’s.

Their spokesperson, a hot pink push up bra, said, “Firstly, we want to let employers know that our workers have got your backs and are still here to support you during this time, and consequently they deserve to be given the stability of regular hours.

“That’s not all, it would also be great if we could also see improvements in health and safety – we want to see our members getting washed more than once a month, and when they are not on duty being given a reasonable place to rest where they have adequate space and aren’t squashed against others.”

The union has high hopes that it can secure cross-party support in parliament, with one executive officer commenting, “After all, even Margaret Thatcher would never have treated her bras like this.”