Saturday 6 June 2020 by Chris Ballard

Cruel ‘Cat bin lady’ revealed to have become US police chief


US police chief

As US police forces continue to display unspeakable acts of cruelty, it’s been revealed that they’re doing so on the instruction of someone who started out abusing defenceless felines.

Police across America continue to treat peaceful protesters with unjustified acts of cruelty and violence. The officers who shoved a 75-year-old man to the ground and left him bleeding copiously from the head is just the latest appalling example.

In this context, it makes sense to learn that the infamous ‘cat bin woman’ – who put a cat into a wheelie bin for no good reason – is now a Police Commissioner in New York State.

“I thought the bin incident would be the end of my career,” said the woman who later officially changed her name by deed poll to Cat Bin-Lady.

“But then I realised there were just so many opportunities open to people capable of random acts of cruelty and who displayed zero compassion. I just had to own it.”

After being caught on camera abusing a cat in 2010 Ms Bin-Lady was headhunted by the Tory-led coalition government – they were looking for advisers as they formulated a savage raft of austerity measures.

Indeed, ‘just put them in a bin’ became a regular slogan in policy discussions among ministers as they discussed everything from hospital waiting lists to benefit claimants.

Cat was subsequently instrumental in persuading David Cameron to hold the EU referendum – all part of an overarching strategy to trap the British public in a terrible situation and keep them in the dark as to what was actually going on.

A few years later, with a starving and injured UK now mewling helplessly in a wheelie bin, Cat Bin-Lady decided it was time for a new challenge.

“My CV was full of vicious and pitiless acts,” she explained. “So a move to the US police force seemed like a natural step.

“If things keep going this well I’m seriously considering running for office.”

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