Europhile naysayers were left with much egg on their face as Boris Johnson’s promises of a free country that pulled ahead of the EU came true following the announcement that, in just one day, more Brits died from COVID 19 than the whole of the EU put together.
Retired copper-wiring thief and Brexit supporter, Simon Williams, said the latest figures were proof that Britain was ready to play alone on the world stage and had more in common with the USA than those under the sway of Brussels.
He explained, “We told them we would stand out once we were out. My daughter and her smug boyfriend are remainers and were always telling me we would be an insignificant little colony of the US if we left the EU.
“I bet they are not laughing now. 359 deaths to 324. That’s a win for me!”
Mr Williams said that his trust in Boris Johnson paid off on a personal level too, and had made him wealthier.
“My Mum, God rest her soul, was in a care home and we were paying £200 pounds a month for her to get the bigger room and the hairdresser in every 2 weeks. But now, thanks to the government’s strategy, I am better off by over two grand a year.”
Downing Street confirmed that it was Boris Johnson’s personal efforts that resulted in the UK being a world-beater in COVID casualties.
However, in a conciliatory gesture towards those Britons who think death is a bad thing, the government has said it would soon make available an edible chlorine-based disinfectant for everyone to enjoy.