Thursday 4 June 2020

Donald Trump finally gets to build his wall in bid to keep all the people who don’t like him out of the White House

Trump building wall at White House

Donald Trump is today finally building that wall, but only to keep the people who don’t like him away from the White House.

As witnesses describe the president busy mixing cement on the White House lawn, some are wondering if this is the wall he meant all along.

Trump told a source, “Sure, when I started here in Washington I thought I’d be building as wall thousands of miles long to keep out Mexicans, not one a couple of miles long to keep out angry American voters.

“But you know, I’m not a big fan of people who disagree with me, so I think it best we build a wall to keep them out.

“However, I think we can all agree this counts as me keeping an election promise. I’m going to send the invoice to Mexico, so it definitely counts.

“Shut up, yes it does.”

Meanwhile, protesters outside the White House have taken to reminding Trump that his new wall is not sound-proofed.

As one told us, “He can build a wall, but we all know it’s driving him insane to hear us calling him a fat ginger wanker. Yeah, it’s not very clever, we know, but we take great satisfaction in knowing it will really annoy him.

“Especially the ‘fat’ bit. And anyway, if he doesn’t like the sound of the voters screaming about how unhappy he’s made them, he can always retire to his bunker again.

“I hear he likes it down there these days.”

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