Wednesday 27 May 2020 by Neil Tollfree

President Trump considering adopting the Purge


Trump supports the purge

Donald Trump is said to be considering the adoption of the practice of the Purge, a night in which all crime is made legal.

It is understood that whilst various other delegates were speaking at a recent UN summit, President Trump binge-watched the Purge series of films on his phone, and has been considering a real-life annual Purge ever since.

“You know, people say that The Purge is a terrifying depiction of the basest instincts of humanity being allowed to run free,” he said

“I guess it is, but it also looks real fun, it really does.”

The Purge takes place over a twelve-hour period once a year and, technically anyone can murder anyone else, but in practice, the rich employ expensive security precautions to protect themselves.

“I said I’d bring down unemployment and an annual Purge would certainly do that and it’d make the American security industries great again.

“Also, I’d get to watch something really neat on TV. I mean, it’s just great for everyone, it really is.

“Maybe we can start with a ‘purge-lite’, where you can legally kill any member of the fake news media, or anyone who has ever said anything mean about me? That would be a good place to start.”

It is currently unknown whether Mr Trump will actually follow through with his plans or if it will be like that time he binge-watched the Hunger Games films whilst Angela Merkel was speaking to him and had ‘a great idea for the next Olympics’.

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