Jacob Rees-Mogg suggests re-introducing bathing machines so people can socially distance at the beach

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Bathers could safely use beaches without fear of Coronavirus transmission through the re-introduction of Edwardian-style bathing machines, according to a suggestion by Jacob Rees-Mogg.

The machines, which fell out of use almost a hundred years ago, would be brought back to beaches across Britain in an initiative to safely separate holidaymakers whilst allowing them access to the sea and beneficial exercise.

A bathing machine was a small, enclosed carriage drawn to the waters edge by horses, allowing swimmers to change their clothing and emerge directly into the waves without contact with other people – thereby maintaining social distancing.

“There are many benefits to the use of bathing machines beyond protection from disease,” Mogg told reporters.

“Ladies would be protected from the attention of lotharios and lounge lizards, whilst receiving the healthful benefits of the waters around Britain’s coasts, whilst gentlemen would not be placed at risk of seeing a woman in what is effectively her undergarments.

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“This would prevent their animal parts from becoming engorged with farmyard lusts leading to who-knows-what sort of behaviours.”