Tuesday 26 May 2020 by Dominic Cummings

Normal people admit they just don’t love their children as much as Dominic Cummings does


Man doesn't love his children as much as Dominic Cummings

Following Dominic Cummings statement yesterday that he did break lockdown rules, but only out of concern for the health of his young son, normal people across the country have been forced to admit that perhaps they don’t love their children as much as Mr Cummings loves his.

“I mean, I was pretty sick a few weeks ago,” explained Simon Williams, a hat auditor from Chelmsford.

“I live with my daughter and so, I suppose, I put her at risk by obeying the lockdown rules and letting her continue living with me rather than driving 300 miles like a loving, caring parent would.

“I guess I just don’t love her quite as much as Mr Cummings loves his own son.

“I mean, I do love her. I love her a lot. But, do I love her in a break-government-lockdown-rules-and-put-the-community-at-risk kind of way? I suppose if I’m honest, I don’t.

“All things considered, I guess I must be a pretty bad parent, compared to Mr Cummings.”

It would seem that many people have been forced to confront just how little they genuinely love their children, with thousands getting sick in recent months and choosing to continue to obey the rules and isolate their entire family, rather than drive across the country to check their eyesight by a castle.

Williams went on, “I can’t help but think that if we all loved our kids as much as Dominic Cummings does, the country would be a much better place.

“Apart from the whole massive-unmanageable-wave-of-coronavirus-that- would-kill-millions-and-break-the-NHS-thing that would happen, of course.”

Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for him – get the T-shirt here!

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