Monday 25 May 2020

Specsavers to introduce new ‘can you drive to the nearest castle’ eye test


Specsavers driving eye test

Specsavers has introduced a new eye test for customers worried about their eyesight, after admitting the best way to check your vision is to drive 60 miles to look at a castle.

The High Street optician has admitted that it has wasted years on expensive equipment and charts with tiny letters on them, when all they needed to do to check if someone’s eyes are OK is put them behind the wheel of a car for a quick hour-long drive to a tourist attraction.

Optician Simon Williams told us, “I feel like such a fraud. I spent all those years at university learning about the eyes, what causes issues in them, and the ways they can be aided and repaired – when Dominic Cummings had the secret all along.

“It just makes perfect sense. If you’re genuinely worried about the quality of your vision, the absolute best way to check it is to put your wife and child inside a couple of tonnes of machinery and drive it around at speed for an hour or so.

“I mean, if you do have a problem with your vision, it’s likely to present itself pretty quickly, right?

“We will be recommending long drives to the nearest castle for any of our customers who are worried about their vision becoming problematic, and we’ll be happy to offer a 50% discount to any customers who can make it back to the store in one piece.

“And don’t be surprised to see us sponsoring a Formula One team when it all gets back underway.”

Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for him – get the T-shirt here!

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