Country getting back to normal as Priti Patel downgrades foreign NHS staff from ‘welcome key workers’ to ‘dirty immigrants’

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The Home Secretary has given the nation its strongest signal that the COVID 19 crisis is over the peak as she abandoned her early rhetoric about foreign NHS staff being exempt from harsh immigration rules, and resumed plans to fine them for being different.

Simon Williams, Ms Patel’s special adviser and spokesperson for her signature ‘Get Out!’ campaign, said that the Home Secretary was delighted to put behind her the dark days where she had to admit foreign nurses saving British lives was sort of okay.

He went on, “Just three short weeks ago, we were in such dire straits we had to promise to review the £600 yearly surcharge we will force impure outsiders to pay to live and work in Brexit Britain.

“We were willing to overlook no end of obnoxious bilingualism and flavourful cooking as long as we could keep our hospitals running.

“But now, thank God, we are back in a place where we can make a Bangladeshi doctor with a family pay thousands a year for the privilege of saving the lives of resentful Brits who vote for any clown willing to tell them their birthplace makes them superior.

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“All our lives have been put on hold and we need something familiar to cling on to. And there is nothing as predictable as Priti Patel playing to the worst impulses in us by imposing needlessly vicious rules that would have seen her own parents told to stay in Uganda had they been in force in the sixties.”

Ms Patel’s return to virulent xenophobia is thought to be the first of many media appearances by Tory grandees to show the country is getting back to normal again.

Although unconfirmed, it is believed Dominic Raab will shortly resume being publicly confused about basic geography whereas Michael Gove is expected to start backstabbing his colleagues before the end of summer.