“You can visit family as long as you make an offer on their house” confirms government

The fun and games around lockdown rules continued this morning.

Visits to family members’ houses still aren’t permitted, but house viewings for the purposes of buying said house are fine, because the housing market is monetarily important and your family is not.

“So I’ve offered to buy my mother’s house so she can see the children,” said Hayley Rice, mother of three.

“She’s been a bit greedy about it, if I’m honest. I offered 325,000 but she’s insisting on the full 350,000. But it’s worth it if we can all be together again.

“It’s going to get quite expensive; I have a big extended family and I’d like my children to be able to see all of them.

“So far I’ve put in offers for five different houses. My husband is horrified but the bank is absolutely delighted.”

Conservative MP, Simon Williams, said, “I’d be lying if I said Hayley’s little loophole was what we had in mind, but it’s a delightful boost for the housing market which, as I think we’ve made clear, is more important than your family.

“Now, back to work. Chop chop.”