Woman decides to stay in lockdown for a few more months after cutting her own hair

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Despite the government easing lockdown restrictions today, local woman Simone Williams will be staying indoors ‘for months’ after cutting her own hair.

Stressing how important it is that she maintains social distance from anyone at all who might see her, Simone will be keeping the curtains drawn until at least June and will hide under a table if anyone comes to the door.

Responding to government advice that she should keep at least two metres away from other people, she said that should be okay if they were very, very short-sighted and didn’t have their glasses, but much further would be best.

“The virus is very serious and even if I’m allowed to go out in public I don’t think I should, because…er…disease and stuff,” she told us with a towel over her head.

“Hopefully this should all have grown back – sorry, blown over – by August and I can start seeing people again, but until then it’s best for all concerned if I pretend the outside world doesn’t exist.”