Police have been surprised to see that Nigel Farage has now rallied against restrictions on his freedom of movement, as they had always thought this was something he would be into.
After Nigel Farage posted yet another video of him standing near a coastline moaning about immigrants against a backdrop of visibly no immigrants, Kent police were forced to pay him a visit and remind him of some of the values he holds most dear.
“I think the poor old boy is just a bit confused,” explained PC Timothy Williams.
“So we just had a friendly chat and reminded him that we are restricting the movements of certain individuals for the benefit of society as a whole – just like he demanded over the last couple of decades.”
He went on, “There was no official caution given, we just said, ‘Look Mr Farage, you know how you used to go on about it being better for Syrians to stay in their homes, getting bombed to death every night, rather than try and seek asylum and a hope of a better life in Britain? Well it’s kind of like that, but instead of being bombed, all you have to do is just sit inside and drink yourself to sleep watching the Dambusters, and this will benefit our society’.
“But then he got a bit irate and started banging a saucepan with rage, so we left at that point.”
Anyone who sees Mr Farage filming himself standing on a cliff or near a beach and having a rant, should not approach him, however tempting it might be to ask him to point out where exactly all these illegal immigrants are that he’s talking about.