Monday 4 May 2020 by Davywavy

Elon Musk wakes from three-day bender hoping he didn’t say anything stupid


Elon Musk hopes he didn't say anything stupid

Elon Musk has finally come down from being high as a kite for the last three days and expressed a hope he didn’t say anything he might regret whilst off his tits.

The billionaire entrepreneur staggered groggily from his bed, knocking over a small pile of traffic cones and vaguely wondering where the policewoman’s cap came from, before going to get himself a pint of water.

Musk went out ‘having it large mad style’ to celebrate winning a NASA contract to send men to the moon, and things have been a bit foggy ever since.

He reports the last thing he really remembers is being refused access to a flight to Florida for being off his tits, and suggested that if you’re too wasted to get into Florida then you’re probably having a pretty good time.

“Bloody hell, my head,” he is reported to have said.

“Never again. I swear to God, never again. I’m off the 420 for good this time.

“Where did that sheep come from?” he wondered. “It’s Monday, you say?

“I didn’t say anything that might get me into trouble, did I? It’s all a bit of a blur. Nothing like that time I made a weed joke on Twitter?”

At the time of writing Elon has just seen the share price of his company and responded, “Oh, shit.”

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