Single man completes Netflix

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A man who has been stuck inside his home for weeks has this afternoon finished watching every single thing on Netflix.

Simon Williams, a 42-year-old builder from Leicester started binge-watching Netflix last year after splitting up with his girlfriend and has seen a steady increase in his viewing in the lead up to lockdown where he quickly progressed to watching the streaming channel for up to 18 hours a day.

Emerging from his flat this afternoon, a pasty and frail-looking Williams told us, “I think I have watched everything they have to offer. Every single thing. There is nothing left to watch. What the fuck am I going to do now?

“When I found out we had to stay inside for the duration of the lockdown I started looking for old stuff I hadn’t seen before to hopefully help pass the time – but now I have run out. How did that happen?

“I finished all of Stranger Things in the first two days. Then Narcos, Sex Education, I even watched The Crown from the start I was that desperate.

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“Now I have watched all the films and documentaries too, even the foreign ones with subtitles, and I don’t know what to do with myself. They have even stopped making new programmes because of this so-called virus.

“It’s definitely because of the Russians,” he added frantically, pacing the room.

“Or that Tiger Woman, Carol Baskin, I just know it.”

His former flatmate Dave later told us “He’s fucking paranoid. He’s watched way too much shit.”