Tuesday 21 April 2020 by JAck Marshal

Nigel Farage opens OnlyFans account


Nigel Farage Only Fans

Nigel Farage has become the latest Brexiteer to turn to a subscription service to make ends meet.

However, rather than humiliate himself by writing contrarian nonsense for The Spectator, he opted to open an OnlyFans account.

The politician – who controversially claims to be only 56-years-old – has struggled to find work since the start of the coronavirus pandemic.

He now earns a living posting photos, videos and racist Dad’s Army memes which fans can access for a monthly fee.

“I used to be on TV practically every night. Now, thanks to Covid-19, no one’s interested in Brexit. I wasn’t even on Question Time this week,” explained a tearful Farage at a press conference to promote his new venture.

“How am I supposed to survive without the oxygen of publicity and the opportunity to express my opinions on things for which I am not even remotely qualified.”

Simon Williams, NewsThump’s technology correspondent, has had an in-depth look at what Farage is offering.

“Some of his content is actually family-friendly. For example, he does a regular live broadcast teaching children how to smoke properly.

“Most of the material, however, is aimed squarely at adults. Last week, he posted a video of himself Morris dancing in Y-fronts. The week before that, he was cosplaying as the MP for South Thanet.

“Luckily for Nigel, he has one big advantage over other OnlyFans accounts; Google’s algorithm always places him at the top of any searches for ‘dick’, ‘arse’ and ‘fanny’.

“Although, admittedly, Laurence Fox remains the top result for ‘blond twat’.”

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