A family of four have sown the seeds of their own destruction by starting a friendly game of Monopoly to pass the time during lockdown, according to reports today.
Following government advice not to leave the house, the Williams family is planning bonding sessions over the popular board game in blissful ignorance of the destructive power it wields.
“It’ll be a laugh and bring us all together,” said 41-year-old father Simon Williams in probably the least accurate statement he’s ever made in his life.
“It’s been stressful and we’ve all been at each other’s throats a bit over the last week thanks to the lockdown, so a gentle board game will be a good way for us to bond back together and get friendly again,” he added, cheerfully unaware that this time next week the police will be taping off the scene and using the word ‘tragedy’ to describe it.
“All of us joining in a quick game of Monopoly will be harmless fun”, he added in the same tone as a failed writer suggesting that his family stay in a haunted hotel all winter, and with broadly the same likely outcome.
Despite warning people of the risks of coronavirus, driving without a seatbelt and using a chainsaw unsupervised, the government has thus far failed to slap a notice on Monopoly warning people not to play it with anyone they’d like to call a friend ever again.
“It could be worse, they could be going to play RISK,” experts told us.