Friday 17 April 2020 by James Backhouse

New fundraiser created by NHS staff will sponsor Matt Hancock’s 800m sprint along Brighton’s 500m pier


Matt hancock to run off Brighton pier

After Captain Tom Moore wowed the nation by raising over 14 million pounds for the NHS, very large donations are being made to a new fundraiser which was set up by NHS workers themselves – Health Secretary Matt Hancock will run 800 metres along Brighton’s iconic 525-metre-long pier.

“I’m told this isn’t a normal 800-metre run,” said Mr Hancock. “Apparently it incorporates hurdling and if I see anything which looks like a fence or handrail I’m supposed to leap over it.

“Just to be on the safe side I checked the length of the pier – I asked Priti Patel to look it up and she says it’s five-hundred twenty-dozen and five-thousand miles long. Which is longer than I thought.”

The attempt is expected to bring in millions of viewers over the Internet and delight the few lucky enough to see it in person while out on their daily walk.

“It is an honour to take part in this run,” continued Mr Hancock.

“And also a surprise, as it wasn’t my idea and no-one asked me about it beforehand – other than to check that I can swim, for some reason.

“I suppose being nominated for this is just a sign of how much the NHS appreciates me! And I hear that after my run they want to give me a very special badge to show that appreciation. Apparently the badge is specially designed to show up clearly on an abdominal X-ray – I’ve no idea why, but I’ll get to the bottom of it!”

The new NHS fundraiser has already passed the 10 million pound mark and, unusually, 90% of the donations have come from doctors and nurses.

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