Friday 17 April 2020 by Chris Ballard

Image of Jacob Rees-Mogg at 20 discovered painted on cave wall


Jacob Rees-Mogg, cave painting

As everyone shares photos of themselves aged 20 on social media, a crude cave painting has been found of Jacob Rees-Mogg as a young man.

For a very good reason that nobody is quite sure of, Twitter is currently full of photos of people at the age of 20.

While it was thought that Jacob Rees-Mogg was far too ancient to take part, a prehistoric image has now been discovered of his student days daubed onto the wall of a cave in the South-West of the country.

Palaeontologist Simon Williams explained, telling us, “Jacob actually appears in a series of paintings in a cave near Cheddar Gorge – not far from his Somerset mansion.

“The first image shows him hiding behind a large rock as fellow tribe members get attacked by a variety of ferocious wild animals.

“The second depicts him eating all the food left behind by the dead – he no longer has to compete for resources and is profiting greatly from the catastrophe that appears to have befallen his society.

“The third – and definitely the most interesting – image shows Jacob laughing and joking with the animals. It is suggested that he may have actually planned the whole attack with the beasts simply for his own financial benefit.

“It’s a fascinating early example of the disaster capitalism that would be perfected with Brexit and will no doubt be used to maximum effect as the UK economy recovers from Coronavirus.

“Of course, the fact that he was a caveman in his youth also explains his prehistoric attitude to women’s rights.”

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