Friday 17 April 2020

Government urged to lift lockdown after it emerges Ed Sheeran is using the time to write a new album


Ed Sheeran new music during lockdown

The government is under increasing pressure from all sides to immediately lift lockdown restrictions after Ed Sheeran revealed he is using the time to pen a new album.

Experts had been warning of the ‘horrendous’ consequences of keeping the ginger warbler confined to his home for weeks, and have criticised authorities for being slow to respond to the risk.

Speaking from Number Ten, the Prime Minister has begged Ed to stay outside his home and remain at least six feet away from any pens or musical instruments at all costs.

“All the warnings were there,” said viral musicologist Simon Williams.

“As soon as Sheeran has passed three songs he starts to compose at an exponential rate, risking millions being exposed to his music.

“Yes, people can avoid listening by remaining in their homes and turning Heart radio off, but it seems outrageous to confine entire populations just because one man can’t help but spread his infectious ditties.

“If things get really bad we risk him performing a concert streamed over the web, the consequences of which could be catastrophic.”

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