Friday 17 April 2020 by Pete Redfern

Constantly hearing the national anthem is bad enough, the last thing I need is Ben Fogle singing at me, insists Queen


Queen to get song from Ben Fogle

Her Majesty the Queen has quickly shot down Ben Fogle’s plans to sing at her, according to reports.

An insider at Windsor Castle told us how Britain’s monarch reacted to the proposal put forward by the budget Bear Grylls that the nation should rally round and sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to her.

“I suppose everyone singing to wish me a happy birthday it is a nice thought, but one is not sure what one is supposed to get out of it,” she is reported to have observed to a maid trying to stand 2m away from her.

“The people are always singing the national anthem at one, and after sixty-eight years on the throne one is totally bloody sick of people singing at one. I can’t leave the house without some group or another singing a few bars at me, the last thing I need is an entire nation singing another ditty at me while I’m safe at home.

“And what happens when he finds out I actually have two birthdays a year? Must I endure commoners yelling in unison outside my castle in both April AND June? How awful.”

She added, “Now, Captain Tom Moore’s approach on one’s other hand, well, that’s more like it. He’s a true hero, raising millions for the NHS despite being well into his nineties and not being annoyed by anyone along the way.

“One only wishes one could find some way to raise money for the NHS, too, but one is all out of ideas.”

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