The President of the USA has escalated his feud with the World Health Organisation, accusing the agency of severely underestimating just how incompetent Donald Trump was and refusing to tailor their messages to semi-literate sociopathic Twitterati.
In his daily press briefings, the controversial politician made the announcement just after his ritual of screaming at journalists and forcing officials to deny their boss was an unstable egomaniac.
He explained, “The WHO is a nasty outfit with low ratings. We told them back in January that I was incapable of understanding even the most basic aspects of viral transmission.
“Did they make a fun cartoon for me to understand what to do? They did nada. We got hundreds of briefings with big words like infection and ventilator. No talk of ratings or how good I am at golf.”
The president put the blame for the USA’s having the world’s highest COVID-19 death toll squarely on the shoulders of the WHO.
“As soon as the virus started to spread in China, I came up with a brilliant plan to make the virus go away by being amazing and holding a big rally. But now, thanks to their talk of having to test and isolate, we have millions of Americans unable to focus on how big my wall is going to be because they’re dying or worrying about dying.
“So if the WHO wants to keep making pandemic warnings just for people who have the wit to use a dictionary and remotely care about the lives of others, they can do it on their own dime.
“We’re going to spend the money on things that are effective. Guns, prayer sessions and Kanye West.”