Wednesday 15 April 2020

Donald Trump officially renames the San Andreas Fault, ‘China’s Fault’


Donald Trump, san andreas fault

Donald Trump has doubled down on blaming other people for his nation’s troubles with an executive order to rename the San Andreas fault, ‘China’s Fault’.

The large a continental transform fault running over a thousand kilometres along the US coast, is positioned in such a way that a rupture could cause extensive damage to American property and threaten the lives of thousands of Californians, something for which the President would like to lay blame elsewhere, and quickly.

A White House spokesperson told us, “There will come a time when the San Andreas fault leads to devastation on the US West Coast. It could be next year, it could be in a hundred years, but why should this President wait to assign blame until after it happens?

“President Trump has learned very clearly in the last few weeks that the sooner you can blame China for something, the sooner you can get a nice little boost in the polls.

“The executive order should see the San Andreas Fault renamed China’s Fault in all textbooks by the end of the year, and Wikipedia should be updated by the time you read this.

“He had considered calling it the ‘WHO’s fault’, but China feels much more like a long-terms scapegoat.”

Meanwhile, residents of the state that will actually be affected by the issue have admitted it’s nice to see the President taking swift action.

Californian Chuck Williams told us, “Sure, the action Trump is taking won’t actually help any of us in any practical way, but at least he’s making these bad decisions nice and quickly this time, rather than wasting weeks saying there isn’t a problem.

“That’s progress I guess?”

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