Tuesday 14 April 2020 by Mark Molloy

Millions of Britons back to doing f*ck all today after four-day weekend of doing f*ck all


Bored after long weekend

Millions of people across Britain have woken up this morning ready to get back to the daily grind of doing absolutely fuck all today, after spending the full bank holiday weekend doing absolutely fuck all.

With the post bank holiday blues setting in for many all over the country last night, they rose today ready to face another week of doing nothing at all whatsoever all day every day.

Simon Williams, a 41-year-old builder from Plymouth explains “It’s always tough getting back into the swing of things after a long weekend, but you just have to get up and get on with it,” he said as he sat down on the couch ready for another marathon session of daytime television.

“I am always knackered after any bank holiday weekend, so I’m just going to try to ease myself back into it today and not do too much.

“I might pop to the garden later for a little 10-minute walk around the lawn, and after that I’ll maybe put a wash on, but other than that, I think I will just sit here all day and do absolutely fuck all until bedtime.”

Scott Brown from Leeds agreed, he told us, “I had a pretty mental weekend to be honest, I went out for two half-hour walks, and did a small food shop yesterday.

“So it will be nice to get back to doing piss all today for a change. I just hope I no-one rings me as I honestly can’t be arsed talking.”

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