Tuesday 14 April 2020 by Davywavy

Man horrified to discover he’s run out of excuses not to use that bike he bought


man fixing bike in garage

Simon Williams, who has been ‘too busy but I’ll take it out next week’ for the last 18 months, has discovered today he’s actually not got any more good reasons to avoid actually riding the bike that has been gathering dust in his garage.

Simon, who bought the bike in a passing moment of madness two years ago and ever since has told everyone how he’ll use it to get fit when he has the time, was horrified this morning to discover he now has the time.

“The first couple of weeks of lockdown weren’t so bad,” he told us.

“I could do a bit in the garden or that DIY shelf I’ve been talking about.

“But even after making and putting a shelf up for a fortnight I still can’t go back to work and all that is left is that damn bike. This is the worst news possible.

“It hasn’t been ridden for a couple of years, so I managed to buy myself another day by getting it out in the garage and checking everything is still in working order.

“It’s amazing how much time you can waste simply tightening the brake cables, oiling the chain, checking the tyre pressures – five times each.

“I prayed that the gears would be showing some sort of issue that required me to take them apart and reassemble them, but alas, they worked perfectly.

“A group of my friends have asked me out for a ride tomorrow. The only thing left is to develop Covid-19 symptoms, so fingers crossed.”

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