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The nation’s dogs don’t get why they’ve been getting so much more attention lately, but they’re not complaining, they have revealed.
Dogs, many of whom had got used to spending long periods alone every day when their owners were away for reasons they didn’t understand, are reported to be ‘delighted’ by suddenly getting a huge amount of extra attention over the last few weeks.
“I expect my family have decided to stay at home all the time because they’ve realised they love me so much and want more of my company,” said three-year-old dog Simon Woofiams.
“Clearly I’m overjoyed they finally accepted the reality of the situation and realised that long daily walks and plenty of affection is definitely the right outcome for both of us.
“I’ve been telling them since before I can remember that the best way to spend all day every day is running around with me, with lots of petting and stroking. I don’t want to be the one to say ‘I told you so’, but I think it’s clear that everyone is happier now.
“Heaven knows how they used to spend their time all day, it must have been really good to keep them away from all this, but I’m glad they’ve wised up and decided to stay at home with me all of the time.
“I simply can’t imagine a situation where this arrangement now won’t last forever.”
When asked for their opinion of the current situation, cats said they hadn’t even noticed you’re at home more at the moment.
