Saturday 11 April 2020 by Mark Molloy

Mother Nature spotted laughing her tits off as the notorious prankster creates perfect beer garden weather on four-day weekend


empty pub garden in the sunshine

Mother nature has been spotted absolutely pissing her sides today as temperatures continue to rise and skies remain clear on a four-day holiday weekend while everyone is stuck inside their houses.

The weather maker and notorious prankster, who normally likes to ensure the nation enjoys a large dose of rain and wind on most Easter Bank Holiday weekends, couldn’t resist making today yet another absolutely glorious day, just to piss everyone off – especially those without big gardens.

“Look, everyone knows what a prankster I am, and so what I’m giving you all today shouldn’t come as a surprise,” she giggled.

“I was trying to decide what weather to give you all today and it just came to me in a flash. The pubs are all closed, most people can’t leave the house, and so I have created the absolute perfect weather for an afternoon in the beer garden!

“I’m an absolute genius!” she roared.

Simon Williams, a builder who hasn’t had a pint in a pub for almost a month now was not impressed, “She’s taking the piss!

“How many shite Bank Holidays have we had in the last few years? And then when the fucking country closes down, we get this glorious bloody weather!”

As he opened a beer in his small patio garden, Carl was forced to join the rest of the country on Facebook by jovially pretending not to care.

“I’m not fussed, I have my own beer garden here,” he wrote, while daydreaming about being somewhere much, much nicer.

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